please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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