nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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