VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
