i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
