You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
