One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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