so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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