I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize