ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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