Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
