I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
