let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
