btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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