I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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