Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
send nudes
from the living room?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
