i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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