I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
