I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize