you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
