Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
