there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize