was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
