fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize