apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
