Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
