I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
