I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
