So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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