He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
