I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
