You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize