Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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