Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
