That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
