uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize