No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
