brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I am available for nakedness
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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