i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
