She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
