dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize