Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize