All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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