Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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