Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
