Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
