marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
