I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
