I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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