I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
