I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
