I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
