He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
