I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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