my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
