And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
