it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
