wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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