I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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