Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
